We recently received this question:
“I haven’t seen you post messages but I’m just really confused and I don’t know who to talk to. I’m a sixteen year old cis girl living in ireland. I only feel comfortable kissing guys like I can’t imagine having sex with a guy or giving head or getting eaten out by a guy. Even though I really can’t imagine being in a relationship with a girl I feel comfortable with the idea of having sex with a girl. I’d really like to experiment to but I feel like I can’t because people will judge me”
Thank you for reaching out!
As we grow up, we begin having different types of feelings. One of these feelings is being attracted to someone, whether they are of the same sex or another sex. It’s OK to have these feelings.
Being worried about judgment is normal too. Do you have a trusted friend, adult, family member, or counselor you can talk to for support? Do you know of any LGBT support groups in your area?
We often feel best when we do what seems right for us. There may be some people who judge you, but hopefully there will be others who support you! If you are ever facing harassment or threats of violence make sure to tell a trusted adult right away. This resource might be helpful: http://youthworkireland.ie/what-we-do/lgbt-youth-projects
And if you are not ready to have sex with someone of any sex, you have the right to abstain from sex or practice safer sex. A person should be emotionally and mentally ready to have sex, not just physically. If someone wants to express their affection towards their partner, they can do it in other ways such as kissing, hugging, holding hands, and hanging out together.